About the Author

You sing like a shotgun

But you cry like a saint

I painted you a picture

Then I ran out of paint

And it would be premature to frame

So I leave it on my bedside

I'm not much of a painter

If I'm gonna say what I wanna say

I will say it on paper

And I need your reaction now

Not a moment later

I lost the game the day

I write an open letter

If I survive I learn

To know myself much better

Begin to understand it all can be

Black and white at times

Deny, deny, deny, deny, deny

You think you know who you are

You got the job for the money

And the money for the car

But the funny thing is

You never go that far

So trade it all in

For a life where you're happy

That you're too scared to mention

But you won't 'caus you're terrified

I lost the game the day

I write an open letter

If I'd have known the pain

Then I'd have known much better

Begin to understand it all can be

Black and white at times

Deny, deny, deny, deny, deny

Aces

I'm on a leg

I'm on a leg I made it out

I bet you're glad to see me now.

Put me in the red

Make my head forget

I was cynical

An agent to the chemical

You were swelling up

Picking aces up

You were ready for the sun as it came up

Putting on a morning

Resisting everything I've got

Putting me in something ridiculous

I don't wanna regret anything I say

I guess you helped me in a way

Putting on a morning

Resisting everything I've got

Putting me in something ridiculous

Put me in the red

Make my head forget

I was cynical

An agent to the chemical

You were swelling up

Picking aces up

I'm on a leg

I'm on a leg I made it

I had to take a heavy measure

Put my body under pressure

I guess we could just stay together

I had to take a heavy measure

Apollo

I wanna be something I’m not.
I get this feeling, I’ll become it anyway.
More than a brain, more than a body,
So much less than everybody else.

I will be kind, I know this woman,
She knows herself,
Little less everyday.
I get on stage, I get off stage,
She gets her hair done.

I got hunted.

You are divine, I am divine,
While you were sleeping,
I was drinking by myself.
I get so heavy, you shouldn’t worry,
I’ve been doing this a very long time.

You move your body, I try to copy,
Admittedly,
You look better by yourself.
Where did you go, where could she be,
Long gone, my divinity.

Great show my love,
Man you look so rough,
You look down,
You look out for the count.
Great show my friend,
Whether living or dead,
The indifference feels like hell.

I got hunted.

Baby Calm Down

Twenty and ready to pay for my debts, I stomp on my heart as it beats through my chest. Is it bad that it's bleeding? Folding the sheets like I'm happily married, Happened to me, it can happen to anybody. And I cancel that feeling. 

Daddy believe me, I'm doing my best While my brother is high and my sister, depressed And they just bathe in your water. Found me the girl and she fucks like a fever, Body in line with the body beneath her. I doubt that I need it, But she knows that I want it, And I'ma keep getting it. 

Baby don't make me mad, I will show you I'm the wrong kind of man, To be honest to god, I'll let go of your hand, To remind you that you had it, owned it, For one moment. Help me out. Baby, calm down. 

Finding it hard for the mind to just reset, Blaming the dog for the tricks that you teach it. You could be better than this. Does it for cheap 'cos she needed the practice, Talks to her feet like a real bad actress, And I cannot watch this. 

Please let me rest, it's a given that I'm stressed, But the girl is a prison with her cards to her chest. And I can break out if I wanna. Found where you hide but I miss all the seeking, You and a secret are things worth keeping, But you're so deep in this water, And I'll go no further, You just go deeper. 

Baby don't make me mad, I will show you I'm the wrong kind of man, To be honest to god, I'll let go of your hand, To remind you that you had it, owned it, For one moment. Help me out. Baby, calm down.

Blue Phases

Bodensee, you know me well,
The water and sky in parallel.
I flick a coin over the cliff,
It doesn't make sense, it never did.

Tie me to the moon,
See if I get down from up there.

It's bigger than the book you read,
Or any word you ever said.
Just tell me what the matter is,
She says she's running out of options.

Tie me to the moon,
See if I get down from up there.

My baby's infested with doubt,
And these days it won't stop coming out.
A movie rental, a love essential to man,
The kind of love you'll wish you never had.

I took an oath to do my best,
You said you would, you never did.

Burden

Take the meal from my table
I’ve the gift of great excuses
Never hold it by the handle
‘Caus that’s so conventional

How you feel when you’ve got mail
They just run with your ideas
That’s an old trick, don’t you know that
Everything is personal

And the way you spend today
Well that’s how you’ll spend your life
You’ve got no right to change the chains
Yeah that’s the burden

We should meet outside the palace
He’s too young to take us home
Got the feeling you’re gon’ get to
Know me better after all

And the way you spend today
Well that’s how you’ll spend your life
You’ve got no right to change the chains
Yeah that’s the burden

She was a sleeping spider
She kept her treasure in her back pocket
She was a sleeping spider
She left her web alone, no one to guard it

Coat of Arms

They started fires on my street

Brilliant and made, a Galilei

You wanted me to park your car

Test the breaks and fill the reservoir

When I was young

A target for Swanton

Speaking out of turn and banging drums

I broke a wrist

Begging for acceptance

A coat of arms, a crime of malevolence

But I'll go down in history

Baby that's just me

Put on your new best t-shirt

From your friend in the navy

It's just a shirt, it gives me worth

A friend of the family

And when my bedroom caves in

From a whole new gravity

I'm almost done, I'm almost done

It's burning the back of my tongue

But I'll go down in history

Baby that's just me

Epiphany

I left my friends to be famous. I left my girl for no reason. I miss my family. Reaching out, there is no one near me. Stuck in the void for the longest, The longest two years of my life. Destined for vagrancy, Reaching out, there is no one near me.

So sorry that I called you up, Made your day just as bad as mine. I'm so sold to the limelight. And I'm sorry when I put you out, Make your day just as bad as mine. I'm so sorry, so sorry, I…

Spend every day on your mattress. I grew my hair, 'cos it's pointless. Suddenly, I'm not so hungry. Reaching out, and I know you'll feel me. Screaming out, and I know you'll hear me.

So sorry that I called you up, Made your day just as bad as mine. I'm so sold to the limelight. And I'm sorry when I put you out, Make your day just as bad as mine. I'm so sorry, so sorry, I…

Put the words in my mouth, I will never say I am in love, But oh when I see you, I want to please you, Giving you roses and all of that stuff.
And you give and you give And I fear you have given too much. But way down the bottom, I'm begging your pardon And South America starts to sound fun. And I'm so damn sad the epiphany keeps us apart. You let your guard down, I have your heart now And I will never be sorry enough.

Fell So Low

Bodensee
Snow so cold on the bottom of my feet
She came with me
Between the sheets beneath the sea
Suddenly
I’m in love with everybody
The line between
Honesty and the things that she tells me

T.S.B
Fell so low she could barely reach me
Waist deep
Heading downstream in a bad dream
Suddenly
I’m in love with everybody
I’m in love with everybody

Nineteen
With the foremost thoughts of my brain combining
Looking pristine
So low and I needed reminding
Suddenly
Got my hands on her body
Good for me
Can I put my hands on this body

I’m in love with everybody

Flowers (The Retaliation)

It's Friday in my bedroom and I'm fucked up
On my left side yeah my girlscries 'caus she fucked up
I will think of a movie to mimc when I wake up
If I wake up

Is that what you wanted?

I get dressed in the morning and I'm still drunk
And the sunlight is the worse thing I could think of
On the cusp of, on the edge of, on the brink of
Pulling myself out of love

Baby just listen and make a decision
Or is this the wrong time
I’ve never given you any permission
To desolate my life
Give me a minute, give me a minute
Give me a smile
Just give me a smile

Is that what you wanted?

Love is the greatest
Love is the greatest thing that I could give you
If you want it

Love is the greatest
Love is the greatest thing that I could give you
Just tell me you want it

Happy Halloween

It’s a new house, it’s a new me.
I learn the grooves of my door key.
Is it cruel, I very rarely think of you.

She touched down in no time,
I was half man, half tour guide.
If it’s money that makes you stay, I’d pay, and pay, and pay.

If it’s all I need,
Then I won’t stop now.
I don’t want to speak,
Then I run my mouth.

I don’t need to be new,
I just shake up my head and I make up a
Mistress for my day shift.
Complaining like love is just something I’ve
Been through, I fell into.
I was falling asleep and I finally missed you,
Fuck I miss you.

One of us, and I won’t say names,
Was starting friction, sparking flames.
Now she’s shaking,
As the walls, the doors, the floors are fading.
You’ll miss me in a taxi ride,
Or any time it’s bleak outside.
Navigating,
Through the murky water we were wading.

If it’s all I need,
Then I won’t stop now. I don’t want to speak,
Then I run my mouth.
I don’t need to be new, I just shake up my head and I make up a
Mistress for my day shift.
Complaining like love it just something I’ve
Been through, I fell into.
I was falling asleep and I finally missed you,
Fuck I miss you.

I Got Old

I got old in the soul,
Well I think I know more than I know.
Numb and sweaty, numb and cold,
I got old.

Every day, hey hey,
Well I wish I had the heart to say,
Only you and me feel that way,
Every day.

People have a lot to prove,
I just wanna sing to you.
Thirty in a red hot sun,
I could fall in love with anyone.
Giving in your heart to me,
I'll need it more than anybody.
I was so young and cold,
I got old.

Annabel, what a girl,
Man you really gave my brother hell.
So long, wish you well,
Annabel.

People have a lot to prove,
I just wanna sing to you.
Thirty in a red hot sun,
I could fall in love with anyone.
Giving in your heart to me,
I'll need it more than anybody.
I was so young and cold,
I got old.

You will never know what you mean to me.

I got old in the soul,
Well I think I know more than I know.

Kamikaze

She cannot say
She cannot tell me
She will camouflage this
Like it's kamikaze

I prayed for fame
Bring fire to my name
When it’s all the damn same
Then I take her down with me

Still dressed by my family
Invested in insanity
She becomes my best friend
I become my best enemy

But she cannot say
I refuse to say
We will camouflage it
Like it’s kamikaze

You were meant to be
A friend to me
Can you reason with jealousy, nah
Baby wait and see
Your history
Make me just as jealous of you

We are smart enough to know
Young love can be colourful
Young love can be gullible

(she’s saying)
It’s alright

We are smart enough to know
We are far too colourful
So we camouflage it
Like it’s kamikaze

It’s alright

Kerosene Babies

Doggy on my back again,
Cradle swinging.
I fix myself a melancholy drink,
And it tastes just like that
Rattlesnake in my bed again,
Violently humming.
Seldom do I hear her sing.
Ah she says “slithering is more my thing”,
Nothing makes me sing.

Who do I become when I sleep?
I just creep and creep and I creep.
I dreamt I had a baby
But I left it on the street.
Sheena lives in my left brain,
Accountable for everything.
Living off of kerosene and cocaine,
And I never made her sing.

Montaigne

Almost every night, I get cold and cornered,
In that spot I do not like.
The heartbreak hotline, You’re my only caller,
When you’re sad, you sound nice.
On my phone, you sound nice.
In this light, you look alright.

Baby lately, I can only see you,
From your bad side or your back side.
Your two three foresight,
You knew I was a goner,
‘Caus I’m in love with the spotlight.
But there’s no love in the spotlight,
I still dream of you some nights.

It’s hard to feel the same,
Six hundred days,
Don’t remember the contents of your suitcase.

For each and every ordinary thought,
Depressed if I’m remembered by,
The press that I paid for.
A watered down emotion runs its course,
Well I feel better now,
But I feel like I’ve been forced.
Terminally, I am long lost.

It’s hard to feel the same,
Six hundred days,
Don’t remember the contents of your suitcase.

Ninety Six

I wish somebody would just pick me up.
I spent the bigger part of winter with my back turned to my love.
She's the head of the table,
She keeps kissing all my rivals,
She keeps fucking all my idols.
It's gonna wake me up.
Put your lips on the coffee cup,
It's gonna wake you up.

She would cum and tell me I'm amazing.
Let the doors swing,
Let the bells ring,
I couldn't feel a thing
But I could feel myself changing.
And I waited outside
In my Ninety Six,
Full of teenage kicks,
Full of pessimistics.
Are we really still infants?
Can I really get away with this?
You're gonna let me get away with this?

Fell in love with that distance,
To keep the flame alive, you're gonna pay the price of persistence.
My brother showed me my hit-list and my wish-list,
I was really trying and I couldn't see no difference.

Gonna let me get up.

Revelator

On the cusp, on the brink,
Of exceeding my instinct.
In a lateral life,
Things are better in hindsight.

What a way to go,
As the cameras roll.
Twenty years ago,
We wanted to be better people.

What a way to go.
We’re just bitter and evil.
That’s why I live in empty space
Trust me girl, I’m made of something.

I lost my faith in people-pleasers,
Refuse to find a friend in Jesus.
I never say never, but I think I better say nah,
If you’re on my side, better stay on my side.

Well I smoke, but you smoke a lot,
And your words are just ashes.
When I’m drunk, and I drink too much,
I could serenade for ages.

What a way to go,
As the cameras roll.
Twenty years ago,
We wanted to be better people.
That’s why I live in empty space,
Trust me girl, I’m made of something.

I lost my faith in people-pleasers,
Refuse to find a friend in Jesus.
I never say never, but I think I better say nah,
If you’re on my side, better stay on my side.

I lost my faith in people-pleasers,
The conversations falls to pieces.
Never felt better, doesn’t matter if I don’t mind,
Can you keep your legs shut, yeah
Oh mercy, oh my, oh mercy, oh my.

This is the day that you become my friend,
A friend that I don’t talk to anymore.
To feel the ground beneath you turn to sand,
To burn the memorabilia while you can.

Sun Follows

Remember to fight for your corner,
Nobody here is gonna fight for you.
Never to talk out of order,
Say what you feel, yeah say it when you wanna.

There is hope in my heart,
I have one more life in me.
There is hope in my heart,
I got one more life in me.

I heard symphonies down in these lights,
Thought epiphanies down in these lights.
Wherever I go the sun follows,
Yeah the sun follows.

This is a real dedication,
You don’t wanna trip, keep your eyes on the pavement.
Proud of the money you’re making,
She needed a break, yeah she’s on vaction.

There is hope in my heart,
I have one more life in me.

I heard symphonies down in these lights,
Thought epiphanies down in these lights.
Wherever I go the sun follows,
Yeah the sun follows.

The Ghosts of My Relations

I woke up by the shore
I held you close this morning
The weight of so much more
A weight I'm tired of holding

The vultures in my room
Were circling my patience
I hope to feed them soon
The ghosts of my relations

The say I had an uncle die
Of innocence and twist of fate
I wear my red and golden tie
I have a name to celebrate

You pushed and waded through my mind
To show me how to be as gracious
As a family man still haunted by
The ghosts of my relations

I woke up by the shore
I held you close this morning

The Glossary

A little sway
And I'll have you on my knee
‘Caus that’s all it take
For a girl that’s easy

You found happiness in all the lonely places
New young glorious, un-christen all these babies
Should have done something more special
Instead of doing nothing at all

If it was up to me
I’d have stayed in bed this morning
I’d have never got out
And you’re only sad ‘caus happiness gets boring
Happiness gets boring

We never sleep
But I don’t need it so much
A little sleep
Can fuck your brain up so much
You lost confidence from drowning when you’re swimming
You’ll find consequence in money and in women
Bet you never thought you’d need it all
Here comes your fall

If it was up to me
I’d have stayed in bed this morning
I’d have never got out
And you’re only sad ‘caus happiness gets boring
Happiness gets boring

Traps

Brother help me, I
Need a place,
Need a change.
House is full of rats,
I feed with them,
Learn their names.

You’re driving around in the company car,
They laid traps inside your heart.

Count my memories,
Line them up,
And soak them up.
I was weightless yesterday,
Then you buried me,
Under rubble and rock.

Are you questioning me ‘cause you hate who you are,
They laid traps inside your heart.

And they said,
Who is this man,
Tearing our girl apart.

Twenty Five

Twenty five Reykjavixens,
Stuck in the guest house.
Didn’t know my girl was like that,
Jealous and jockeying my back.
Better that I read your mind,
Instead of your messages.
Come on have I

Ever been one to play those games,
I kept my dignity signed and framed.
Now she’s restless, I detest this,
This is not why you came.

Tell me that I cheat and I lie,
Tell me I’m full of it.
Come on have I

Ever been one to play those games,
I kept my dignity signed and framed.
Now she’s restless, I detest this,
This is not why I came.

On and on and on and on,
The angel of the hour.
May as well live in a shell,
And keep my head down.
You will start again,
Young and benevolent,
Way to lose your friends,
No chance (twenty five).

Ever been one to play those games,
I kept my dignity signed and framed.
Now she’s restless, I detest this,
This is not why I came.

Vex

Give me dirty eyes in a restaurant,
See the trouble is, it’s the trouble I want.
If I don the black I better know my odds.
Give me ten to one, give me five to none,
Give me nothing at all.
He’s dirty and domesticated,
But your back to me is a back worth breaking.
I was glowing red in a crystal ball,
And the trouble is, it’s the trouble I want.

Can you believe the pills young things are taking?
You wanna shout a lot, well that’s a sign of age,
Like the bones in your best friend’s basement.
But the devil breathes, he’s alive and well,
And the trouble just keeps troubling yourself.

Now Mary, don’t you drink the poison.
It’s just seven days ‘til your next revival.
(Are you vexed?)

I will give you hell if you give me trust,
It’s a beautiful and selfish reason.
And if I make a mess I better roll my sleeves up,
See the exodus (for the best of us),
Is all gonna come out on top.
And it’s plaguing on my concentration,
A life at stake if I’m mistaken.
So I take a vow as a troublemaker,
‘Cos a heart of gold is a heart worth breaking.

Now Mary, don’t you drink the poison.
It’s just seven days ‘til your next revival.
(Are you vexed?)

Waiting Room

Have I no part in the universe?
Happiness can be so exclusive.
I live on a street where there's nothing to see,
But a whorehouse and a lack of community.

They do not want my love.
Call it a day, son.

There is nothing wrong with your help,
I was hoping to raise myself.
Tell me how you would handle my position.
Would you want to live the way I've been living?

They do not want my love.
Call it a day, son.

Spend my whole life in a waiting room.
Maybe this summer they'll call my number.
Mama don't like the drugs her boys use.
How could we be this devastated and distressed?

I am in tune with you now,
I am okay with this.

Work It Out

I will never sink too low,
Don’t need to know where your hand is.
And I don’t pray anymore,
Or give a fuck about a soul in Damascus.
If she asks, if she asks, you can tell her,
I was daring the best to be better.
Drummer told me a girl in his sweater,
Was the cause of commotion,
All of the trouble makes sense.
They’re scared,
‘Caus we love new beginnings.

You’ve got no idea how to work it out.

Now she knows too much,
I don’t know what to say,
When she wants more and more,
And more.

If she asks, if she asks, you can tell her.
I was keeping ahead of the pressure.
She would change my mind if I let her,
Just like everyone else,
All of the trouble make sense.
Yeah she’s scared,
‘Caus she knows that I’m winning.

You’ve got no idea how to work it out.

Would You Wait

I’m not asking for an answer,
‘Cause you’ll just say no.
Do you need to be told?
Are you always indoors?
That’s a question,
Not a metaphor.

I’m not asking for a number,
‘Cause you won’t say no.
Am I you, only tenfold?
Does your tongue twist?
Are you temperamental?

I will always behave,
Though the meaning is vague.
Spilling blood in a basin,
No I won’t be patient.

Would you wait?
I think you would.
Would you stay?
I think you.

I was sixteen,
I was so sure,
I didn’t wanna be here anymore.
Could you blame me,
If I’m coastal,
And I missed the rainfall.
Never chase me,
If I detour,
Through a smoke of evil.

I will always behave,
In a colourful way.
Spilling blood in a basin,
No I won’t be patient.

Would you wait?
I think you would.
Would you stay?
I think you.

You Are Not A Rarity

You’ve been laughing thinking I’m funny
Nothing humorous to this at all
Following me ‘round like a raincloud
You should never follow me at all

Rough skin to the touch
The sweetest cradle
Promises pour from my mouth
Like a waterfall

Sentences with structure
Flashing right in front of you
Say this heart’s for bruising
Not for holding on to

If I could take you anywhere
I’d take you off my mind
It’s hazy but it’s consequent
There’ll never be a next time

You were the uplift of the century
My lips were bound just to stop them wandering
You should be used to the way it’s meant to be
I’m satisfied but that’s typical of me

Your indecision makes a mockery of you
You say things can happen
If you still want them to

If I could take you anywhere
I’d get you out them clothes
I think I missed the point again
You made it unmistakable